L is for Ladders

For the past thirty years, my wife has insisted that we put up Christmas lights around the outside of the house. Every year, I bitch and moan, but do it.

The biggest problem is that all three of the houses we have lived in during that time has had a peak in the roof over the double garage doors. It is too high to put up lights from a six foot step ladder.

In Melbourne, I would go next door and borrow the neighbor's extension ladder. He'd always gladly lend it to me and would say, "Keep it in your garage until after Christmas."  So I did.

After five years, I was talking to his wife and she remarked that they never put up Christmas lights because her husband always said, "I can't. D.C. has my ladder."  The next Christmas I returned the ladder after I put up my lights and he had to put up his lights too. He laughed about it, but I think he hated me!

In Largo, I borrowed an eight foot stepladder to do the job from an old-timer across the street.

When we moved to Clearwater eight years ago, I was able to borrow another eight foot stepladder from another old-timer across the street. Then last year, he moved. Damn!  After 30 years, I had to go out and buy a big stepladder. That gets used twice a year. To put up and take down Christmas lights.

I think the term for that is: "Bah, humbug!"